(Note: This article just written from my opinion, you may agree or disagree with it. And because I’m new at writing articles in English language. So if you spotted mistakes in this entry (like grammar or information), I’m really sorry.)
Remaking or rebooting doesn’t mean that your favorites movie of all time will turn out incredibly stupid (like Christopher Nolan’s Batman reboot or John Carpenter’s The Thing), but recently there are tons of reboot or remake that sucks. For example, Michael Bay’s Transformers franchise (in fact, the third one is one of the worst movies I’ve seen, although I’ve seen Manos: The Hands of Fate) or the new version of The Day The Earth Stood Still . And, from what I’ve heard, The Evil Dead, Escape From New York ,and Mad Max are gonna get the same treatment. OK, I know that you try to remake or reboot hit movies because it’ll guarantee the profits of your movie, but for those who grown up by watching these films in the past, it’ll upset them a lot.
So I have a new idea, why don’t you remake or reboot BAD or AWFUL flicks? Because it’ll improve your old shit into the new shining star that might be a classic film in the future. Here’s the list of movie that should be remake or reboot.
1) Howard The Duck
To be honest, I’ve never watched this one. But I’ve seen the Nostalgia Critic’s review so I think that if someone’s gonna remake this flick, they should improve the pacing of this film and try to make Howard look like the comic book version as close as possible.
2) Violent Shit
No joke here, I wanna see someone remake this, to quote the Cinema Snob, “Shot-on-shitteo”. I think the whole film can be remake by change into the found footage genre. The remake one tells the story from the survivor perspective, then try to investigate the whole story from newspaper and corpses, and finally find out that the killer is K. The Butcher Shitter and at the same time K. The Butcher Shitter still hunts this survivor for some reason.
3) Friday The 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan
(alternative poster for the movie)
(“Don’t be a dweeb, Wayne” – J.J. Jarrett)
Although this is not the worst one, I think we should include more NYC scene ,reduce tons of boat scene and maybe change the storyline a little bit like change the location of killing spree from the boat to NYC or change the final girl from Rennie to J.J. Jarrett (a.k.a. the girl that played guitar).
*crowd boos*
Oh come on!, she’s one of my favorite characters in this franchise,and, in fact, I wanna have a friend or girlfriend that looks like J.J. 😉
4) Ninja Terminator
(“Traitor, listen!” – Toy robot)
Actually, you can remake any Godfrey Ho’s “cut-and-paste” flick because the original versions of these films are too bad for many moviegoers. We can remake this one by improve dialogues, 0% of footage from another movie,and, most importantly, use a new, modern robot instead of the toy robot!
5) Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties
(“Take your damn clothes off!”)
Although this is a bad “video game” from 1994, but wouldn’t it be good to remake this piece of shit into the whole movie? I know, I know that the plot sucks pretty hard but if filmmakers hires good script writers, the result will be satisfied (well, I hope).
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Finally, filmmakers may not see the list above, but I hope that they will try to make new franchises to become a legend or try to remake in a non “fucked-up” way like victims I mentioned in the first paragraph.